Fidget spinner lame

Google web search interest peaked in early May — presumably with the first batch of people wondering why on earth their child had come home from school with a PVC throwing star — with maximum interest in the U.

Then the fad made its way to internet news consumers over the next week; May 18 was the high-water mark for fidget spinner news searches.

5 Reasons to Ban Fidget Spinners from Every Classroom in America

Then, of course, came capitalization from brands trying to cash in on the trend. Jake: u got ADD? Alex: Nah dude Jake: I do. So no. The dumbest fad to ever catch on with retarded teens.

Fidget spinner - Wikipedia

Spinner with these will fidgetize you. A lame toy that was originally fidget to stop kids with severe autism or ADHD from interrupting class. This cancerous trend is also lame reason why the number of kids being diagnosed with autism and ADHD has skyrocketed in the last year, and I will smack any little brat who puts one of those cocksuckers anywhere near my face.

He wants to obtain more fidget spinners, because there is always another spinner better than the 73 he keeps in his pockets. He asks that we watch him do a fidget spinner trick, and then he fails at that trick because it's physically impossible. Then he asks for my newly upgraded smartphone so he can watch another instructional video for physically impossible fidget spinner tricks, of which there are 19 million.

At school, every child has a fidget spinner and the entire building hums like a giant white noise machine.

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Some schools across the country, including fidget in Evanston, have spinner the gadgets, presumably out of fear that if all the children were to simultaneously spin their spinners in the same direction it would form a vortex that could wipe out half the girls feet and pussy porn. I'm confident the American economy is now at least 40 percent fidget-spinner-based, and it may yet grow.

I don't know who planted these devices in our country, but it was clearly a malicious act intended to distract us from more important issues, like the latest versions of smartphones lame foreign countries itching to invade America.

Many fidget spinners are manufactured in China — I know this because my extremely focused son recently bought a pack of 10 spinners from a Chinese distributor. I wish I was making that up.

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So I suspect China is behind this so-called fad. At the rate things are going, the Chinese military could overrun the West Coast and our children would be too distracted with their fidget spinners to notice anything, and we adults would be too distracted by our annoyance with fidget spinners to care.

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There have been times lately, amid the incessant whir of spinners and the occasional yelp of a sleeping dog struck by a dropped spinner, when a Chinese invasion would have been downright refreshing. I'm going to get on that as soon as I run out and buy the latest smartphone. I just saw a guy with one that has a slightly larger screen than mine.

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Then, of course, came capitalization from brands trying to cash in on the trend. If you want to make money off the attention cycle of the youth, the second-best way after selling them a fidget spinner, duh is probably through YouTube ads.

In the first 12 days of June, there were 9.

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